Well it's Christmas and I am here at work at the Network Operations center taking a break. One thing I don't know any more is how to handle people. I mean I have been trained on how to deal with people all through my life. But its like after my experience in the Army, I get aggressive. As soon as I detect someone trying to get over, I get on the defensive. I am one of the most kind hearted on earth. However if you try to take advantage of my kindness, heaven help you. I use to like the way I was self-controlled. Now, I am afraid, I can't control my anger.

I admit I am blessed with a good paying job, but I don't know how much more of life at the NOC I can handle. I envy those with their Monday through Friday 9 to 5 jobs. Not needed to work on holidays. Some times working the graveyard shift makes you feel like a social out cast. You need to interact with others. I admit my commute is only 20 minutes, compared to the day shift workers who average 2 hours.

I don't feel comfortable in this job. The company is good and stable. I don’t feel I fit in. If push came to shove my manager will get rid of me. I don't stand in the top of my class or excel my peers. Hmm… now that’s some thing to think about.